Bounded by Practice

Photo Credit Andrea Lingle

By Andrea Lingle

Belief is hard. In my life as an adult seeking to live spiritually, I have found that defining what I believe to be frustrating, circular, and changeable. To believe implies that one knows something, and knowing things, for sure, belief-deep, is a difficult task. 

Eight years ago, my husband and I experienced a personal tragedy that left both of us uncertain and unable to affirm belief in much of anything except chaos. Religious doctrines and beliefs seemed hollow and unconvincing. 

No matter what I did, I could not make myself believe.

Belief was beyond my control, but practice was not. In the spring of 2016, I went on pilgrimage to Iona, Scotland, UK. I was up to my neck in doubt and grief, and I had no idea what to expect (it is hard to expect anything from a spiritual pilgrimage if one is having a hard time believing in the spiritual), but I boarded the plane with inadequate hiking boots, a wool skirt, and curiosity. 

While packing, I was torn between thinking that, should there be some Divine presence, I might be subject to some level of disapproval—surely there must be consequences for faithless pilgrimaging—or, in the absence of a Divine presence, I must be engaging in something along the lines of playacting. Without belief, what was I doing? Spiritual tourism?

Unsurprisingly, I found neither of those things to be accurate. What I found was this: a practice of joy. I don’t know what I encountered on that tiny island in terms of belief, but I do know this: engaging in practice does not require understanding or belief. Practice simply requires participation. Pilgrimage was something that the body could engage in unreservedly regardless of the state of my overall beliefs. I could put on my boots and walk, looking out over the landscape without worrying about if there was something or nothing. There was the road and the walking. There was the sound of the bell calling the pilgrim to worship at nine and nine. There was the sea and the wind, and nothing else was required. Pilgrimage was a rhythm of waking and resting bounded by practice. The stones of the church and the beach spoke of centuries of practice and required nothing of me. This was a place where nature was at play—did I want to join in? Turns out, yes. Play would be lovely. Joy would be welcome. Participation might just be grace. 

If you would like to learn more about joining the Missional Wisdom Foundation on pilgrimage in 2022, please click below.